Many people have contacted me asking where my last week entry is. Well since leaving ADRU my life has finally got going. I’ve changed jobs and moved house.
I wasn’t happy at my last ward, I’m a Psychiatric Nurse, 80% of the staff didn’t care or could be bothered. I didn’t want to work in that type of environment any more so with the support from my wonderful ADRU therapist Anna I changed jobs. Something which I would have found very scary. Meeting new people was something I found very daunting. Where did I move to? I loved the atmosphere at Bethlem, the facilities, the location, the people. So I am now a Senior Staff Nurse in another unit on the grounds, and I love it. Only difficulty I encountered was during my interview. One of the panelist was one of the Activity organisers at ADRU!! She recognised me instantly, we had a little giggle, but another member of staff had to be found. I thought that this would cause problems, but thankfully it didn’t as I got the job.
On my first day I bumped into Joel (OT at ADRU) who wished me good luck, and wonderful Anna went past in her car beeping her horn and waving exstically. It was a wonderful introduction to my new world. If some staff ask why I wanted to work at Bethlem so much I tell them honestly that I was an In-Patient there. I’m not ashamed or worried about the response, it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. My life was seriously shit before I was admitted.
The low point has to have been when my sister said that she was so concerned about me she wouldn’t leave her children with me. To this day this still hurts, ALOT, but I can now see what she means. There is a picture of me at her house and I’m looking down at the floor, no make-up, and my hair is greasy. I don’t look well, I wasn’t well.
I have finally moved out of staff accommodation after 10 years (!!!) and have my own flat in Beckenham, close to the hospital. I love it, and for the first time in my life my 600+ books are not in hight and width order. Hooray. They are in colour order, but only because it is a very popular thing to do at the moment (that is my excuse, I know its a bad one hehehe). I haven’t noticed many new obsessional thoughts, going into my local supermarket took a lot of effect but I did it. I even took my Gran shopping around the massive Morrisons in Plymouth, which was one of my goals, and I loved every second of it.
New problem. My sister Kayleigh is getting married on the 18th July this year. No that isn’t the problem hehehe, being her Chief Bridesmaid in a low back dress is. I skin-pick. Have done since I was 4, and in a very wrong way I actually find it southing, but the picking on my back had to stop, just till the wedding. In its place my poor head, and sometimes my ears, has taken the brunt. When getting our hair ready for her Hen-Weekend my sister Jenna (an ex-hairdresser) noticed that massive blood patches, so was gentle. My head really hurts. However there is something that helps, colouring-in. You can get hundreds of adult colouring-in books now, I have most of them. Colouring gives my hands something to do when watching telly, or sat on the train. Its a distraction and it appears to be helping.
If you are reading this blog because you are thinking about going into ADRU, or are already there, the main bit of advice I can give is to do everything. Do everything they tell you, even if it sounds daft, dangerous, or very very scary. It is hard work but my God it works. Think about what is the alternative? Do you want to remain like this forever? I couldn’t continue the way I was living, it was destroying me, there was no future for me. Now there is, and I have ADRU to thank for that xxx